Explosive Bodily Fluids

Just about the time I was seriously thinking about going to bed the tones sounded. We were dispatched for a 75 year old female feeling ill.

We were met at the door by the granddaughter of the patient. She led us to the back of the house where her mother was attempting to clean her grandmother. We were informed that our patient had been feeling lethargic all day. About an hour before we were called she had started having explosive diarrhea and vomiting. The daughter apologized and frantically tried to change her mother's diaper. We told her to calm down and to take her time.

A couple of weeks prior my engineer had been to our patient's house on a medical aide. She had apparently suffered an MI and had recently been released from the hospital. Even with her serious medical history we figured that it would be better for all involved if she were cleaned up a little before going to the ER.

20 minutes later my head found my pillow, but not for long.....

Ssslllooowww Mmmoootttiiiiooonnn

Once again it's that time of year. Time for the county fair. Every year most of the guys on my department look forward to this event with dread. They know that there are not many that enjoy working there and so most people get mandoed (short for mandatoried, or being forced to work when you don't really want to...one of the perks of civil service). I, on the other hand, am part of the minority that enjoys working at the fair and I sign up for several shifts every year.

While at the fair we were driving around in our fire department golf cart (complete with all the EMS gear, lights siren and gurney) when we saw an elderly man in a motorized wheel chair try to take an incline on an angle. We all saw what was about to happen but were helpless to change the event.

As the old man traversed the slope gravity won. His little three wheeler started to tip over. We all jumped out of the cart as fast as we could but everything had slowed down. We watched as the senior citizen once again proved that Sir Newton was correct.

Once time resumed its normal speed we were able to get to the downed man. He was more embarrassed than anything. We righted his wheelchair and got him back in it. After checking with him one last time to make sure he wasn't injured we bid him adieu.

The funniest part about the entire sequence of events was when a bystander, who happened to be standing next to the man when he went down, tried to keep us from doing anything until help arrived. Then he looked up and realized we were the help. Afterward we tried to find the do-gooder to thank him but he had already gone about his way. So if you're reading this, Mr. Good Samaritan, thanks for the help. We really do appreciate it.