Holistic medicine to the rescue?

You know that the day is going to be busy when your first call comes in 30 seconds after you go 'available'. The call came in at 0514 to respond to an unresponsive person. We go tearing across the city (I use this term loosely as we are in Hemet) and arrive to find CDF fire already on scene. As I approached the door the captain said that our patient is a doctor of holistic medicine and that I should "have fun." I entered the front room to find a 72 year old man sitting on his couch talking to the firefighters. So much for unresponsive. I introduced myself and asked why he called us out this morning.

He said, "I woke up this morning and my arm was numb. There were also some red lines on it here" as he motioned across his bicep.

From this point on it was a little difficult to keep a straight face but I performed a thorough assessment.

I asked if it was still numb.

"No."

"How long was it numb?"

"About 30 seconds."

I then checked to see if he had good sensation, equal pulses and movement in his hands and wrist. All was good so far.

While the firefighters got me a set of vitals (pulse rate, respiratory rate, blood pressure, skins signs) and my partner hooked him up to the ECG (heart monitor), I continued my questioning.

"Do you have a headache, weakness, blurred/double vision, ringing in the ears, chest pain, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, N/V/D (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea)...?"

"No."

"Do you have any medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, hepatitis, strokes, seizures...?"

"No."

"Are you taking any medications?"

"No."

"Are you allergic to any medications?"

"No."

I then informed him that his vitals were all normal and his ECG was fine. I finally asked the question that I wanted to ask first.

"Sir, is it possible that you just slept on your arm wrong and it went to sleep?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I never thought of that."

"Do you want to go to the hospital to get checked out?"

"No."

"Sign here...Have a good day."

Sometimes I think that Darwin must be wrong because so many stupid people survive. I guess I should just look at it as job security.